


Discrepancies

by whitepaint



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned NCT Ensemble, There are other pairings but I didn't tag the anymore because they are VERY SUBTLE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 22:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18040472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitepaint/pseuds/whitepaint
Summary: This is the deep, dark secret: his massive crush on Huang Renjun





	Discrepancies

**Author's Note:**

> This is a warning: not perfectly written. Please be kind.
> 
> But I will deeply appreciate constructive criticisms and suggestions.
> 
> Also, if you have any request for oneshots I'll deeply appreciate it because it will help me practice writing. But only SFWs for now because I don't know how to write smut to save myself. Just go ahead and comment after reading.
> 
> Thank you.

With how seriously bad and strong the gossiping power of his bandmates is, he should've known he'll be exposed sooner than he calculated. And yes, he calculates timelines the way Taeyong calculates the damage his children will create before anything actually happens. The leader isn't the only over-thinker in the family, he's just not as obvious as Taeyong.

"Hey, Jaehyun, there's a 3D Moomin movie coming out." Doyoung, lounging on the sofa as if he owns the whole space, said. Jungwoo, sitting at the end with Doyoung's feet on his lap, snorted rather obnoxiously. "Just saying."

"And you achieved..."

"The redness of your ears are cute." The eldest quipped and Jungwoo almost threw his phone across the room with how much he's laughing. "But you acting stupid is not."

Jaehyun knew if his tongue had been as sharp as Donghyuck's, he'd be able to survive the end of this conversation while keeping his innocent act. Unfortunately, his strength doesn't lie on the speed of brain processing required to be able to outsmart the ultimate smartass of NCT. Not to mention his second in command was his footrest of the day, as savage as the smartass, just with a softer voice and an almost non-judgemental laugh. Jaehyun doesn't even know where they got their cocky confidence regarding HIS issue from. He doesn't remember telling a single soul and he's never gotten drunk lately (he's quite loose-tongued when he gets alcohol in his system but thankfully not the black out type) so there's really no chance of accidentally spilling his deepest, darkest secret.

"Hyung it doesn't even have to be a date," Jungwoo said after recovering from his rather asthma-inducing laugh session, during which Jaehyun half hoped he choke on his spit. "Just accompany him to the cinema because you know full well that his best friends would rather die than watch a children's movie."

"Chenle and Jisung are children, he can take them."

"Children who like watching things blow up." Doyoung said, snickering like the maniac he is in Jaehyun's eyes.

"Why the fuck are you two ganging up on me?"

"We're not ganging up on you." Doyoung said the same time Jungwoo answered with a derisive "Because you're stupid."

Again, because his brain doesn't process snark fast enough, he decided throwing a random pillow would have the same effect as the snark. But before he can even raise said object high enough to have it catapult to Jungwoo, the front door opened and a group of noisy teenagers spilled in. Automatically, as if nothing else in this world exists, Jaehyun's eyes zeroed in on the tiny member that came in last. Said tiny member was busy reading something on his phone as he made his way to the kitchen, probably looking up the recipe for a snack.

"Not that I'm complaining but what are you guys doing here?" Doyoung asked, his arms wrapped around Chenle like a boa constrictor. "You could've just called us if you were hungry so we can eat out."

"Dream won't shut up about Taeyong hyung's cooking skills," Yangyang answered, wriggling his way between Jungwoo and Hendery who was sat in the middle of the sofa, "so we came here to be blessed."

Suddenly feeling irritated that he can't see Renjun, Jaehyun shouted towards the kitchen, "Jun-ah, there's nothing in the fridge, come here!"

"There's no Taeyong hyung here too." Renjun said, coming out of the kitchen, brows knitted close. "I'm hungry."

"Let's just make do with delivery. Hyung can't be disturbed when he's with Johnten." Doyoung said, pulling his phone back out of his sweatpants.

As the kids were busy shouting for the foods they want as if they were in different parts of the dorm, Jaehyun couldn't help but stare. This is the deep, dark secret: his massive crush on Huang Renjun. He doesn't know when it started, and he can't be bothered to retrack his steps. All he knows is that one day, during those rare moments all 18 of them were together, he looked at Renjun and everything seemed beautiful. And he wasn't even surprised, Renjun IS beautiful. Jaehyun would've actually been more surprised if no one noticed the boy's charm at all. But things like this are what he calls a discrepancy. Jaehyun and Renjun belong to a boyband, beauty is a requirement. If he found Renjun beautiful, he should also think the others are beautiful. He does, but for some reason, he thinks Renjun is right above the level all 17 (now 20) of them are. And discrepancies like this are to be hidden because it could potentially ruin something important.

Curiously though, Doyoung and Jungwoo don't think so. They know of the discrepancy yet they're pushing for Jaehyun to go for it, make another discrepancy. It made Jaehyun think if stopping all thought processes would be worth it.

Fuck it.

"Jun-ah, let's watch Moomin when it comes out."

The effect was instant and gorgeous. Renjun's eyes lit up and his smile was nothing short of blinding. Maybe it really is worth it. If Renjun reacts like this to all the times Jaehyun decides to abandon thinking, he finds he doesn't mind. And while he's at it, maybe he should also stop looking too far into the future. His dad did say nothing over there is certain.

"Moomin? I wanna watch too!" Jeno said, excitedly looking from Renjun to Jaehyun. "Jaemin wants to watch it too!"

"No, you don't. None of you do." Renjun answered, his voice dripping with venom, eyes narrowed, "Just a few minutes ago, you were making fun of me for liking children's shows."

"Jeno!"

"I was not! That was Donghyuck and Nana!"

"You were laughing at Injun!"

"I was just laughing!"

"Whatever, Jaehyun hyung's the only one who cares enough about me in this group so not a single one of you can come with us."

_Selfish_. It was a realization that came in the form of childish sounding sentences. Here he was, fearing for his life, hesitating to touch when Renjun is actually suffering from loneliness. Maybe Jungwoo was right, it doesn't have to be a date. Him getting close to Renjun doesn't have to mean anything. He is one of the older ones after all, one of his duties in this group is to make sure the younger ones are... okay at least.

"Hyung when is it coming out?" Jaehyun asked, turning towards Doyoung only to find the older staring at him. "I need to make sure my schedule is clear that day."

"The weekend," was Doyoung's short answer. He was still staring and alarm bells were slowly starting to get louder inside Jaehyun's head. _What did I do? Did I say something? He_  thought, backtracking to make sure he didn't unconsciously curse Doyoung in front of the kids.

"No delivery, apparently lunchtime is very busy even for delivery services." Jungwoo suddenly said, distracting Doyoung enough to stop staring. "Who's going out?"

"I will, Renjun's coming with me." Jaehyun answered, getting up from his space on the floor, expecting Renjun to complain. "Jun-ah?"

"Yeah, you guys list down everything you want us to buy."

By the time they got out of the dorm, the rush a quick lunch period creates was already dissipating. The buzz on the streets were still loud though, loud enough that he didn't notice right away that Renjun hasn't talked since closing the dorm's front door.

"Jun-ah, you okay?" Jaehyun asked, careful not to trigger anything strangers shouldn't see. "You're quiet."

"You really mean it? You're really going to watch Moomin with me?"

As cute as Renjun's doe eyes were, Jaehyun felt his heart break. He was thinking of romance, but for a few minutes he forgot that romance is a two way thing. He forgot that romance is beautiful and sweet when you're in a good place.

Renjun is not in a good place.

"Of course. How about this, after the movie let's have dinner and then sweets at Moomin cafe."

It was funny how Renjun's blinding smile can affect him more than the fact they were walking right under the sun, the sun that can potentially ruin their complexion and get them in trouble with their make up team.

***

Their movie date was as uneventful as dates are in real life, considering it really wasn't a _date_  date. But it might as well have been more monumental than NCT U's debut stage. The day they walked under the sun for the sake of food was the day Jaehyun made it his goal to make Renjun constantly happy. He was determined, driven by the image of Renjun's gorgeous smile. It was that determination that made sure Jaehyun, or anyone else, doesn't end up ruining the movie date. But when he woke up to Renjun excitedly shaking him so they can prepare to leave, he realized he's going to be doomed if he doesn't put enough effort in fighting his growing feelings. And by the end of the day, he knew he'd been defeated by Huang Renjun himself.

"Yoonoh, I think for once in your life," Taeyong started but then paused to stare at him. Out of everyone in NCT, only Taeyong, Johnny and Yuta call him by his chosen name. It has long since stopped indicating seriousness in topics but it still sounded ominous, like his hyung is about to spit out nonsense. "You're doing something right."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, hyung?"

"Doyoung said Jeno told him Injun won't shut up about your movie date." Taeyong answered, his lips curled into that mischievous smirk only Doyoung and Taeil are immune to. "You're making the right steps after all."

"Wait, did Junnie really call it a movie date?" Yuta, the excited puppy that he always is when it comes to gossip, leapt onto the sofa and landed right between Johnny and Taeyong. "Oh my god, he called it a movie date!"

"Well, not really. Actually, Yoonoh and Injun are the only ones in the family who never called it a movie date."

"Can I please be disowned?"

"This is why Jungwoo thinks you're actually an idiot despite knowing how to speak English." Johnny commented, not looking up from his phone. "But only you, he still thinks Junjun is intelligent for liking someone like you."

"Youngho, stop being mean to Jungwoo." Taeyong had the audacity to say, all the while disregarding the fact Jaehyun was sitting right beside him. "He didn't say Injun likes Yoonoh."

"Yeah, the word used was actually 'tolerates'." Yuta helpfully added, also not looking in Jaehyun's direction. "He thinks being able to tolerate Yoonoh's stupidity is a great accomplishment."

"So when Mark is not around, I get to be the target of your bullying?"

"We're not bullying you, we're just saying it's pretty stupid that you blatantly stare at the boy but then have the guts to tell us you don't like him."

"I'm in love with him."

The pregnant pause that followed was the epitome of awkward. He didn't know what made him blurt it out, but he was sure it wasn't because he was getting frustrated at them calling him stupid. He kind of agreed actually, he wasn't being subtle with the... admiration but when they call him out on it, he runs for cover. It may have been because of his definition of discrepancies, but that was before he allowed his feelings to grow. Now he wasn't sure if it's because Renjun only tolerates his presence or because he can feel it in his guts that Renjun wasn't ready for this kind of drama.

He still didn't know why he just out and said it.

"Wow, congratulations." was Taeyong's lame reply. He could tell that the gears in his hyungs' heads are turning extra fast. It seemed they also stopped looking too far into the future, probably because they found him and Renjun cute or something. Puppy love probably.

"No next step though."

"What? Why?"

Here's another thing: he thinks he's the only one who doesn't see Renjun's use of words and overall attitude as teenage angst. He's talked to Taeil about it once, but he doesn't think much of it. Sicheng too, mostly because he's used to Renjun using an aggressive tone when talking. But Jaehyun believes, whether it's because of something big and concerning or something natural to Renjun, the boy isn't ready to love someone that is not himself.

"He's too young for any step."

***

"Hyung, anemoia." Renjun mumbled, sticking himself to Jaehyun's arm as they lie with the other members on the roof deck of their dorm's building. It was their monthly mandatory get together, and a celebration of the August babies' birthday. They just finished eating up a feast down at the 127 dorm and Jaehyun was pretty sure most of them fell asleep the moment their head met spread out blanket. "Nostalgia for a time you've never known."

"You felt that?" Jaehyun asked as he unstuck his arm from Renjun's front to wrap it around the boy. With a little bit more adjusting, they settled down again with Renjun's head on Jaehyun's chest, the younger boy's arm slung atop Jaehyun's tummy. "When?"

"Last year, messiest NCT Life in human history."

Jaehyun shall never forget that even if he wanted to. Last year, all 21 members of NCT went to Vancouver to film NCT Life and it was chaos. In the middle of all the mess though, he remembers seeing Renjun sneak off everyday, either in the morning before filming or at night after schedule. No one knew where he went but all the hyungs were vigilant in his absence. One extra minute beyond the unspoken agreed duration, and they were all going to raid the streets of Vancouver for him. Thankfully, Renjun has always been a good boy, never allowing himself to make anyone worry.

"What were you doing then, Jun-ah? Everyone saw you leave but no one knew where you went."

"There was a street we walked through on our first day there. I don't know, I can't explain really. It just felt like I once belonged there." Renjun answered, his voice wistful and quiet. "I can still feel it but I can't think of a reason. I asked my dad if he's taken me there before but he said no. He said it might be because I've been there in my past life."

"Do you think so too?"

"I don't know. That's one of the things in my list of uncertainty."

"Sounds like you're writing a song."

Just a little, very quiet giggle and Jaehyun felt like he was in heaven.

"But no, seriously, wanna share your list of uncertainty?"

When they entered the roof deck about 30 minutes ago, he wasn't expecting Renjun to lie beside him. One of the rules of this mandatory get together is that no one is allowed to bring a blanket big enough for only one. Blankets are to be shared, that's why some of them don't bring any anymore. Renjun though has always brought his own, usually shared with Sicheng or Donghyuck. Jaehyun only noticed the boy didn't bring one that night when he lied down beside the older, wriggling excitedly to get comfortable. Jaehyun, in his euphoric state, remembered Jungwoo's words: Renjun tolerates Jaehyun.

"I like someone and I know he likes me too." Renjun stated, sounding very much like he was simply commenting on the weather. "What I don't understand is why he thinks I'm not ready to love him."

Renjun doesn't just tolerate Jaehyun.

***

It was around 12 midnight when 127 came back from Japan. Everyone was expecting that everyone else has gone to bed so it was a bit of a horror show when they found Ten slumped over the sofa, looking like a dead body dumped there after murder. Mark had screamed, Johnny followed despite not seeing Ten yet and then everyone else did too. The commotion woke Ten up, a flurry of curses stumbling out of his mouth in Chinese, Thai, Korean and English. It also woke a squatter up from within Jaehyun and Donghyuck's shared room.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you idiots?" Renjun asked, voice scratchy from sleep. He had come stumbling out of Jaehyun's room when Mark started screaming and watched for a grand total of 10 seconds the whole room screaming before he decided they were being stupid. "Just because majority of the people inside this room are awake doesn't mean you're entitled to disturb the one's sleeping."

"We thought Ten hyung was dead."

"Whatever. Hyung can you now please move to a bed? Your boyfriends are here now."

"Yeah, just give me a minute, I got too disoriented waking up to all the screaming."

A few minutes later, everyone's started moving around the dorm again. Most were preparing to go to bed, some pushing for an illegal midnight snack. Renjun had followed Donghyuck and Jaehyun to their room, opting to sit quietly on Jaehyun's bed.

"Junjun, you want me to take your room tonight?" Donghyuck asked out of the blue, continuing his unpacking as if he didn't say anything. "You wanna sleep here?"

Ever since the mandatory get together over a month ago, Renjun has slept more often in Jaehyun's bed. They didn't do anything. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they just cuddled until they fell asleep. They made sure never to directly kick Donghyuck out but sometimes, Donghyuck just feels and decides he'll sleep in Renjun's room instead. He's never asked before though.

"Yes, please. You can take Mark hyung with you." Renjun answered, a sweet smile on his lips. "Thank you Duckie."

As a reply, Donghyuck took a small back pack, stuffed it with snacks and gifts he bought for the Dreamies and a change of clothes, ruffled Renjun's hair with his own sweet smile and left. It was only then that Jaehyun sat beside Renjun, already changed into his sleep wear.

"I missed hyung."

Renjun's statement back on the roof deck had been left unanswered. After that, Jaehyun developed the bad habit of calling himself stupid whenever Renjun was around. Then he allowed Renjun to crawl under his covers almost every night without an explanation, and Jaehyun has never felt so brainless in his life. He feared every night that Renjun would think he's leading the younger on but he couldn't find any other way to get close to him and check for himself if Renjun really is ready for a relationship. And that in itself was already stupid, Jaehyun knew. He had constantly been discrediting Renjun's maturity and sense of self worth by thinking the boy's not good enough for a relationship yet. He couldn't help it, he's an over-thinker. Worst, he knows what he's thinking doesn't really make sense anymore.

"I missed you too."

_Let's go back a few steps Yoonoh. Let's go back to that time you actually managed to turn your brain off and just wing it. Give Renjun the worth he deserves._

Fuck it.

"I want to kiss you."

"Are you just going to narrate all the things you want to do to me?"

With that, Jaehyun literally swooped in and touched his lips to Renjun's very soft, very plush pair.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Now I know this might not make sense but I took 'points of view' seriously. I didn't make this an interchanging point of view because I will just end up messing the plot up. It'll be more confusing.
> 
> Next chapter is Renjun's point of view. We'll get to see what happened during movie date and other Renhyun moments.
> 
> Again, I take requests as a form of writing practice. But only SFW for now because I'm lame like that.
> 
> Thank you!


End file.
